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Do not attach identity to something as insignificant as a career/job/position.

I was a Courier, ten years of continuous increases in productivity, and figured I needed to get into management (because leadership and leveling up others helps the team), and I had this ”I’m one of the safest and most productive couriers in here. I’m made for this shit.”

Offload a 53′ trailer piece by piece in the early morning,
Execute 40-50 stops (addresses) per hour on a 8:30-18:00 delivery route,
Load airplane containers (play tetris) piece by piece at 25 pieces per minute.

My direct manager started falsifying my time cards, my schedule, and inflating targets beyond physical limits; making me late, creating no-call-no-show days, and satisfactory stops per hour becomes 70-80.

I pushed my body harder to hit 60-62 stops per hour, and became so burnt out that not only am I unable to execute my job at these new thresholds, cramps would catalyze violent cramps throughout the night, I’d drink about 6 cans of energy drinks daily, and eating Fifteen Thousand calories daily was enough to stop me from losing weight and stay awake during work + commute.

I got pushed into deciding between getting fired and walking away from the career I believed I was made for and that I would retire from.

Identity crisis meltdown.

Certain individuals reminded me of the philosophies I’d studied, somehow got me to stop being morbidly suicidal, and I found an opening in a career I wholeheartedly knew I was NOT made for, one that lights up every single red flag in my system, and dragged myself through that shit for about 6 years, learning, observing, putting in prescribed effort, and nothing except one important thing.

It pulled me out of believing I was only a courier, which set me up to start learning about my accessible potentials.

Epiphany stuff
In a Facebook group I’m a member of,
a fellow member posted a question
regarding if we know that
our adversities are our gifts,
and what they are for us.

My response: ”I don’t know.”
Other members, utilizing their own superpowers, pointed the way to the moon.

After fixating on the proverbial finger a while,
I received a Gibbs Smack,
and stopped missing all that glory.

Pen stuff
The image is scribed by my own hands as the beginning of standards to affirm an external reality to manifest internally.

R denotes my right hand.
L denotes my left hand.
The side-by-side script is simultaneous.

I utilized two fountain pens:
Pilot Metropolitan, medium nib
Pilot Varsity (”one time use”), medium nib

The Varsity ran out of ink, so I utilized it by dipping it into the fountain pen ink.

Epiphany-pen hybrid
The script states:
“I am amazing because I’ve gone through lots of negativity but am still positive, giving, and kind.”

The two pens are from the same source.
Originally designed for the same, yet different lives.
To write for those wielding them.
One to have a long lifespan, refilling, refueling, and to be admired for it’s slightly higher sophisticated aesthetics and feel.
One to have a short lifespan, durable for everyday use with the sensory-rich feel of writing through a fountain tip, expected to be discarded when empty.

“Like this cup, you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you wisdom unless you first empty your cup?”
– Nyogen Senzaki

A podcast I’m listening to, Must Triumph by Sam Yang has started a thirty day reflection exercise. The exercise is similar to those found in the Daily Stoic; read the text, reflect inward, journal.

Thirty days of Miyamoto Musashi

Day 1

”There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, richer, stronger, or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of yourself.”

At first this is is difficult for me because I regularly revisit the works of Musashi.

Better, richer, stronger, smarter. Yes, these are aspects of my life that I feel I must improve on. There are many others who have already accomplished levels of these aspects that I would like to get to, but have they gotten there with the parameters the standards the core values I hold for myself?

No. More often than not, Hell the F*ck no.
My metrics are not the same as their metrics.
My perspectives are not the same as their perspectives.

No one can truly do my work for me. All work done is done by the one doing it, and if it is in my name, I know I did not do it and am taking credit for those who truly did the work.

This is the year 2019, there is nothing truly new, and we all are standing on the shoulders of giants standing on the shoulders of giants standing on the shoulders of giants.

I can have outside assistance, but I must be clear of their parameters, or else I will again fail to stick to my own path.

A ”safe defensive driver” is NOT limited to ”drive slow, keep right, and stay off the freeway.” 🤦

There are reasons you see those stickers on the back of a big rig that say ”If you can’t see my mirrors, I can’t see you” or ”⬅️Passing Side Dead Side ➡️.” While it is okay to drive on surface/local streets, drive slow and keep right, it is also a false sense of security.
⚠️
Are you driving in the blind spot of a vehicle? (Cameras are blind spot creators. You can utilize them but no one should rely on them.)
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Are you Much slower than the flow of traffic? (Imagine that you’re that #1 yellow ball at the billiards hall just before the cue ball flies in at freeway specs for the break.)
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Are you merging with the flow of traffic at the same speed as the other vehicles in the lanes you will soon be in? (Ever walk around Disneyland and someone in a hurry slams into you so you drop your $15 churro you just waited 20 minutes for; that churro is you.)
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Are you merging with traffic as if all the cars are teeth of a zipper, only entering into empty space your vehicle fits into? (Those who traverse the Los Angeles freeways have probably exclaimed with a healthy facepalm and a number of 🤨 at a luxury four-door ”DUDE! if a Civic doesn’t fit, what makes you think you do?!”)
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Are you passing other vehicles on the side of Their driver? (At break time where there are lots of people moving about, walk forward slowly with your right shoulder close to the wall in a safe hallway at work, with your left eye closed. When people move around your blind side, did you twitch right and bump your shoulder into the wall?)
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Yes these are questions relating to guidelines that exist and there are those occasions where doing everything right is not the safe choice, and I’m not against that because safety on the road is important to all on the road.
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Notice these questions are asking You, not the construction workers that operate the heavy machinery, big rigs, state vehicles, delivery vehicles, emergency vehicles, nor train conductors.
🚜🚚🚒🚑🚂🚓
Why? Because those professionals hear this kind of training every single morning. The best you probably get is ”drive safe.”
🤷